Springoo

by Deborah Tannen
A married couple was in a car when the wife turned to her husband and asked, “Would you like to stop for a coffee?”
“No, thanks,” he answered truthfully. So they didn’t stop.
The result? The wife, who had indeed wanted to stop, became annoyed because she felt her preference had not been considered. The […]

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A Guy Goes Into A Bar…
E-mail me your favorite if it’s not here! A giraffe walks into a bar. “High balls are on me!” (thanks to Robert O’Keefe)
A man walks into a bar. OUCH! You would have thought he would have seen it!
A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says “We don’t serve […]

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Actual letters received by the welfare department. I am forwarding a marriage certificate and six children. I have seven but one died, which was baptized on a half piece of paper.
I am writing the Welfare Department to say that my baby was born two years ago. When do I get my money?
Mrs. Jones has not […]

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McDONALDS APPLICATION
This is an actual job application a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment in Florida – and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I were in a […]

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1. A pirate does not ask for directions. He relies only on his gut feeling, a compass, or a treasure map.
2. Parrots are the preferred pirate companion. Monkeys are an acceptable substitute, unless they fling their feces at people. Then they are an awesome substitute.
3. When […]

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DUMB LAWS
Alabama
• Anniston: You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street.
• Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
• Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
• Children of incestuous couples are deemed legitimate.
• Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
• Hunting is not allowed on Sunday.
• Incestuous marriages are legal.
• It is illegal for a driver […]

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The Second Law of Philosophy
They’re both wrong.
* * * * * * *
Question: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a philosopher?
Answer: An offer you can’t understand.
* * * * * * *
Question: What is a recent philosophy Ph.D.’s usual question in his or her first job?
Answer: “Would you like french fries […]

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Sudan’s famous goat ‘wife’ dies
Charles Tombe
Charles Tombe is refusing to comment on the affair
The best-known goat in Sudan has died months after being “married” to a man in the South Sudan capital, Juba, the BBC has learned.
Local elders ordered a man found having sex with the goat, later called Rose, to “marry” her last February.
“The […]

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Women should learn these
Women should learn these! Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see […]

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